"This is not what I signed up for!" (DS9 1-10 "Move Along Home)

March 14, 1993

Sisko and crew are pawns in the game of life.

(Synopsis on Memory Alpha)

I've got to be honest here.  I don't particularly like this episode.  Indeed, it was on my list of the episodes I was dreading having to watch again.  "Move Along Home" managed to break my habit of watching Deep Space Nine every week back in college.  Afterwards I only watched the show sporadically, rather than every week as I had up till this point.

How does it stack up now, twenty years later?

It isn't as bad as I recalled...with a couple of exceptions.  Most of the episode is fine, if a little surreal at points.  The idea of people being used as pieces in a dangerous game is a common idea in science fiction, ranging from arena combat in the original Star Trek to various holodeck escapades on The Next Generation.   To have your characters play in a board game is a little more unusual, but not unheard of.  This episode only predates Jumanji by a couple of years, after all.

Quark, for the first time ever, gets used as something besides comic relief.  Indeed, this is one of Armin Shimerman's favorite episodes for that very reason.  Said Shimerman:

"In its own cracked way, it's an okay show. It was the first time the writers allowed Quark to get somewhat serious. As Quark, I was once again screwing up, but they had given me a wonderful, almost heroic speech. They allowed Quark to, if not be a hero, at least have aspirations of doing something heroic. It's one of my favorite episodes."

                                                        -Armin Shimerman, The Deep Space Nine Companion

What kills the episode for me, however, was the ending.  By revealing that the whole thing was a harmless game, it retroactively kills the dramatic tension.  Saying "It's just a game" is as much a cheat as "It was all a dream".  If there's no danger, why are you wasting my time?  Twenty years ago, that ending infuriated me.  Now I'm only annoyed by it, but by no means do I like it.  Nor was I the only one:

"The ending, where we learn it was just a game, undercut everything that went down for the previous four acts. It all seems pointless if there wasn't any jeopardy after all. I've heard from some fans who felt cheated that the characters were never in any kind of threat. I agree with those fans".

                 -Frederick Rappaport, The Official Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Magazine, Issue 8

Who's Frederick Rappoprt?  He's the guy who wrote the episode.  Or, perhaps it is fairer to say, he's the guy who submitted a script that developed into the episode.  You see things don't always run smoothly for writers on big shows like Deep Space Nine.  For most Trek based shows, the writing process usually involved a group of writers kicking around ideas until a one sentence pitch is put together.  Sometimes that sentence is all the actual screenwriter gets, sometimes there's more details, depending on the importance of the story.  Oftentimes there are additional requirements, like "Colm Meany's filming a move in Ireland, so you can't use O'Brien."  Once the basics are settled, the screenwriter does the script and hands it in, at which point the showrunner, the director, and maybe even the other staff writers and the suits upstairs all take a whack at it until the "shooting script" appears.  Then that version gets handed out to the actors and, depending on the practices of the show, maybe the actors give a few notes to the director or ad-libs something that eventually makes it on screen.

Which is how you can end up with the guy who wrote the teleplay hating the way the episode ended.

Babylon 5's process was a little different.  Since only Straczynski knew where the show was going, all the scripts written by others ended up on his desk for approval.  Often, he'd re-write some or all of the episode t make it fit the way he needed to in the larger story.  Ad-libbing was all but completely forbidden lest an errant line divulge too much or too little.  Eventually, Straczynski would take on all the writing himself, which was a nearly unparalleled feat.

Ironically this would have been better if he had been gambling with their lives.

Back on DS9, Shimerman's right, of course, that this really is the first we see of a serious Quark.  It's not all that serious, and the groveling scene is so pathetic as to be uncomfortable to watch, but his speech to Odo about trusting a gambler to know the game is indeed pretty well done.  Of course that leads into the whole thing blowing up in Quark's face, but failed or not, it was a good scene.  Television morality being what it is, Quark can't be allowed to profit from his earlier cheating, so of course he loses his bet.  Still, the problem isn't with anything that Quark, or Shimerman for that matter, does.  It's with the crappy cheat ending that ruins "Move Along Home."

This episode also marks the second time in two episodes that someone impersonates Bashir, albeit the last time in "The Passenger" was someone impersonating Bashir in his own body!  This won't be the last time this happens to the good doctor, either.

We should also wave goodbye to Lieutenant Primmin who doesn't even get to die heroically.  No, the Starfleet security man simply vanishes after one last acerbic conversation with Odo, never to be heard from again.

Finally we should note the oddness on display here.  Specifically, that there have been two cultures who have traveled through the wormhole into Alpha Quadrant, and they're both dedicated to what we would consider a relaxation or leisure activities.  For the Hunters and the Tosk it is about hunting.  For the Wadi, games.  It would be nice to consider that a precursor to the Dominion where the Jem'hadar only fight, and the Vorta only weasel, but as this predates the first mention of the Dominion by a year or so.  And since, like the Hunters and the Tosk, the Wadi are never heard from again, we can only speculate.  Or turn to some of the novels and video games where others have speculated for us.

So that's "Move Along Home".  Will things get better with a truly Quark centered episode?  Find out next time with "The Nagus."